The experience known as...
It would appear that the onset of Spring is upon us, which always means several things; Birds returning, Ice disappearing from our favorite waterways, and the new passion I have with looking at the beautiful blue sky. It is indeed an incredible sight, if we ever stop and look. But, my new found passion with viewing the sky stems mostly from the onslaught of flesh. I know that sounds harsh, but I have a theory as to why Couple start hooking up in the Spring.
THEORY:
Percentage of relationships starting in spring = Number of Available Singles in sphere of influence Percentage (K) x Lattitude (L) x the Weather Coeffiecnt (WC=100 - avg. high temp since Jan.) x Age (H)/100x the negative scale (1 to 100 based upon missing eyes, legs, grossly overweight, etc).
OR: SPR= kl(WC)(H)/100(NC)
So for example, Billy lives in the great city of Miami. Billy is 24, single, heterosexual, no major flaws, works out 5 times a week, and loves his work as a teacher. What is billy's Spring time hook up rate.
k= .25 l= 25.47 wc=100-76.4= 24.6 H=24 NC=1
SPR=(.25)(25.77)(24.6)(24)/100 = 38.04% chance of hooking up.
now let's look at John from Stevens Point, WI. John is 20, average looking, single, heterosexual, college student, whose missing a leg, has a social disorder, and has a nervous twitch. What is John's Spring time hook up rate like?
k= .60 l= 44.50 wc=100-31.7=68.3 H=20 NC=45
SPR=(.60)(44.50)(68.3)(20)/4500= 8.10% chance of hooking up.
If John had no Negative Coeffiecent though, he would have a 364% chance of hooking up, or basically 3 relationships guarenteed a spring.
What could cause all this? What is the main factors other than having all your faculties. Simply stated it's the fact that in the north, men haven't seen skin in 6 months and so they naturally crave it. In the south, were the beaches are open 365 days a year...skin is not such a big thing. You grow accustomed to it. From the women's perspective, in the south you never have to worry about winter, bundling up, etc. In the north, you can put on a sweater, a sweatshirt, a parka, and several layers of pajama pants and not have to worry about appearances till spring break. Thus, less attention to the northern girls...means a higher rate of attention in the Spring.
What have we learned from all this. Here's Lars score
k=.005 l=44.50 wc=68.3 h=29 NC= 20 (based upon job, morality, social economic background, and overall fitness)
SPR=(.005)(44.5)(68.3)(29)/2000= .22% chance of hooking up.
Now if you take out the job/morality rating and increase my k factor to include women who aren't in my job/morality rating it would look like this.
SPR=(.20)(44.5)(68.3)(29)/250= 70.51%
In plain english. Lars will be looking at the sky alot wondering...Dear God, thanks for the great sky, and the clouds, and the birds. And I hope you know my heart. All to keep that k rate and NC rate in check.
Try it for yourself. FInd your latitude rating here
* This is for entertainment purposes only.
