The Fifth of June

It's the fifth of June...no, not the fifth of Novemeber (but I could write about it for days). It's funny that this day use to signify so much in my life. It was a certain degree a simple crush and infatuation at first but as time progressed I found that I had made the 5th a huge day in my mind. Let me see if I can explain:

When you first enter a relationship you are totally enraptured. Everything is cute, fun, perfect, exceptional, "the Tingles" etc. Even the things that go wrong are funny and you move quickly on to making up and enjoy times. I've heard this is the part of a relationship that "Love makes you stupid." Biochemistry aside and the release of chemical in your brain, I would tend to agree that your blinders come on and you really don't see things clearly. Which frankly is not a bad thing...it just is.

Then you reach a point of maturity in a relationsihp. Perhaps it's just the first step. Something happens when you find yourself face to face with the reality of your relationship and the person you are with...many folks find this a time to bolt, but other decide to weather the storm and when they come out the other side, the "Tingles come back." However, people sometimes say that they see the writing on the wall...others attempt to go back a stage but simply cannot.

Finally, when the masks come off and the reality of a relationship comes together, which as my old man always told me that "a relationship is work. Either you do the work to make the relationship work or you get out." This is the point where you do the work.

Here's the story of the fifth...I had first stage with this woman for about 4 months and when we hit the first bump. I realized that not all was perfect but that I was willing to do the work. She wasn't and we split. However, due to our close proximity to each other (church, mutual friends, etc.) we found ourselves always together. Two years past and when I returned to Point I found that the relationship that became a friendship, was starting up again and I found that the tingles came back...more than ever before. It was probably nausuating to some, but we didn't care. It seemed everything in life around us brought us back to our relationship and things were "perfect." I was love-stupid...tingles and everything.

Long story short, the relationship not only started on the 5th of June but also ended permently on the 5th of June, 4 years later. Now this day is like the reminder of the day you lose someone you love. It's been 5 years since this ended permently and I don't miss her, I don't want the relationship back...I simply miss my friend who knows me better than all but two people in this world...and I continue to ask the Almighty to not only protect and provide for her but to allow me to love more next time than I did on the 5th of June.