Feb 1

Greetings once more from the land of ice and snow, and cold, and mountains, and... well you get the idea.

I sit here at Denver Seminary just getting back into the blog and getting things republished. I have a couple of things that have been stirring within me that I'll be publishing here at Dig It. For now I leave you with this parting thought.
If the Almighty calls us to simply see where He is active and join in, then why is it that we have so many fortresses for churches?

Quote of the week: (Denver Post-Monday)
"If the gospel message is enough, why the loud music and MTV-quality production?" - Mike Jones, Male Masseur and personal trainer, on his visit to New Life Church, Ted Haggard's former church. (Read full article here)

The Johari Phase

I too am in the Johari phase of things. Feel free to check it out here.

The Fifth of June

It's the fifth of June...no, not the fifth of Novemeber (but I could write about it for days). It's funny that this day use to signify so much in my life. It was a certain degree a simple crush and infatuation at first but as time progressed I found that I had made the 5th a huge day in my mind. Let me see if I can explain:

When you first enter a relationship you are totally enraptured. Everything is cute, fun, perfect, exceptional, "the Tingles" etc. Even the things that go wrong are funny and you move quickly on to making up and enjoy times. I've heard this is the part of a relationship that "Love makes you stupid." Biochemistry aside and the release of chemical in your brain, I would tend to agree that your blinders come on and you really don't see things clearly. Which frankly is not a bad thing...it just is.

Then you reach a point of maturity in a relationsihp. Perhaps it's just the first step. Something happens when you find yourself face to face with the reality of your relationship and the person you are with...many folks find this a time to bolt, but other decide to weather the storm and when they come out the other side, the "Tingles come back." However, people sometimes say that they see the writing on the wall...others attempt to go back a stage but simply cannot.

Finally, when the masks come off and the reality of a relationship comes together, which as my old man always told me that "a relationship is work. Either you do the work to make the relationship work or you get out." This is the point where you do the work.

Here's the story of the fifth...I had first stage with this woman for about 4 months and when we hit the first bump. I realized that not all was perfect but that I was willing to do the work. She wasn't and we split. However, due to our close proximity to each other (church, mutual friends, etc.) we found ourselves always together. Two years past and when I returned to Point I found that the relationship that became a friendship, was starting up again and I found that the tingles came back...more than ever before. It was probably nausuating to some, but we didn't care. It seemed everything in life around us brought us back to our relationship and things were "perfect." I was love-stupid...tingles and everything.

Long story short, the relationship not only started on the 5th of June but also ended permently on the 5th of June, 4 years later. Now this day is like the reminder of the day you lose someone you love. It's been 5 years since this ended permently and I don't miss her, I don't want the relationship back...I simply miss my friend who knows me better than all but two people in this world...and I continue to ask the Almighty to not only protect and provide for her but to allow me to love more next time than I did on the 5th of June.

Crazy Life never seems to slow down.

Of course by the title of the post, no one ever imagined that life would slow down. It's funny how as a child you only wait for vacation time to start and you put in your time to get to that vacation. Too many adults treat life the same way still. Just waiting for the weekend. Waiting for my 2 weeks vacation. Waiting for the holidays. Etc.

There seems to come a time in everyone's life (whether they choose to see it and deal with it is another issue) when they hit a wall. Not talking about "my pet died" or "my 2nd cousin's, great aunt's favorite cat died." I'm talking about that wall in life that leaves you at a crossroads. Either you go through the wall or you go back the way you came. It would seem that most people in this world come to this wall and then walk away because it is too much work, too much effort, or just not interesting to deal with. Hence they stay in their childhood effort to make it to the weekend, vacation, etc. When all they have to do is deal with the issue, more often than not requiring the Almighty's help, and mature in faith and life.

Example: I've noticed recently here in Denver there seems to be a big weekend warrior mentality that requires stupidity to reign supreme, only to go back to work on Monday to compare notes on who did the dumbest thing or who drank the most, etc. I'm sure this was also the case in Point as well, but I had limited exposure to that scene at that time. When do people realize that there is more to life than your 40 hour work week (or 60 hour for that matter)? When do people realize that the things that matter most in life are not the things that define you, but who you are? Perhaps I'm just around a bunch of people that haven't figured this out yet. Perhaps, I'm "too serious."

I'd still like to think that there is more to life for all of us than punching a clock, coming home, getting programmed by the TV, going to bed, doing it all over again until we can reach the freedom of the weekend and then rot our brains on some variety of flashing images, fermented grains, and/or some plant that is smoked.

In seperate news, I've been "haunted" (I use that term loosely) by feelings, images, and desires for my long ago ex. I recently found out that she got engaged to a man much older than I and it would appear that any spiritual growth or formation as been at best halted or at worst dissolved. I understand God was probably saving me at the time (mostly from myself) yet when you love someone, those feelings linger tend to linger. I almost feel like Rob Gorden in High Fidelty. I understand the door is closed but I want this lingering to be put to rest forever.

Back at the studies....Dig it?

Day at Denver Seminary

Today I was sitting in my spiritual formations class in a discussion of the older spiritual writings/classics. I don't pretend to be the incredible intellect nor the most well read. I've read Imitation and loved it. I've read City of God and Confessions by Augustine and been challenged and transformed. But I generally have left more of those major works to men much wiser than I. However, I was astonished at the lack of interest from the Conservative Evangelical students there that responded.

It would seem that the majority of students (Or at least the vocal students being broken from their Christian Consumerism) had little or no knowledge of anything previously written and were troubled at the thought of thinking outside of their evangelical box. As if C.S. Lewis is a patroned saint or this Willard guy I've never heard of before today.

I recognize my own faults and will be happy to look up Willard and I realize that Lewis had some amazing works of literature and Christian Growth. But, we discussed the mystics for 20-30 minutes today and what defines a mystic. An entire back row of students disagreed that the mystics had anything to offer us in our spiritual growth. They became indignant to that very fact. So let me make a general start on mysticism and I'll be happy to have people comment on that issue as well.

Mysticism*: n.
1. a. Immediate consciousness of the transcendent or ultimate reality or God.
b. The experience of such communion as described by mystics.
2. A belief in the existence of realities beyond perceptual or intellectual apprehension that are central to being and directly accessible by subjective experience.
3. Vague, groundless speculation.

For the intent of this discussion, we will go with a soft-core version of Mysticism. Since hard-core Mysticism (as seen in 1.a. and Charismatic's favorite son, Phil Jackson)is the basis of Buddhism. We will go with #2 for our definition.

The basis for the majority of Mystic writing came during the middle ages and even late into and through the Reformation. A time when having a subjective experience was not in line with what the mainline church was about. I love this line...
"A belief in the existence of realities beyond perceptual or intellectual apprehension that are central to being..."

Perhaps the majority of Denver Seminary students are of the Head and Hands only model of Christianity. (IE, if it's not in the Bible, if I can't grasp it in my hands, then it's not God) But what a shallow way of living this amazing life with the Almighty. After all, I realize that my heart, my experience, and my soul are far greater and able to grasp more than my tiny mind could ever conceive. After all, how would your mind grasp the concept of love? Is it a chemical imbalance? Or perhaps an emotional response to certain external factors?

I'd rather think that the matters of love, of the Almighty or of matters of the soul cannot be accurately explained by meer logic and words. It is something that has to be experienced...THAT IS CENTRAL TO BEING.

More to come...

TONS OF SNOW, Mountains and the like...

Greetings from Colorado! Home of the 18" snow fall, the soon to be "World Champion" Denver Broncos, and the new residence of yours truly. How does that saying go? "The times, they are a changing."

I'm here at my new address in Golden Colorado and have the first wave of settling into my new apartment/condo/basement. Although, both my CPU's are in repair, I'm using this iBook to my everlasting shame.

Reflections:
I've noticed on my ride out here through the long stretch of Nebraska (See also I-80 Offense) that I wasn't really excited about the destination, nor was I upset about leaving my home in Point. I guess you could say I was a little emotionally numb. It wasn't until Ms. Hull called that I realized that the mountains once again felt like home.
For everyone that has moved recently, you'll remember the feelings of frustration, loneliness, and possibly desperation that might have come over you. Though, I'd like to say that I'm STRONG...I'll instead say that I'm human. As my mother called me yesterday, I found myself in tears...not from one thing, but from the holistic stress that has been my life for the last several months. Alone in a new town, no job to speak of, no ministry to run, no friends to spend endless hours doing nothing in particular. It is this stress that caused my frustration and tears.
SO-WHAT HAVE I LEARNED??
That this life as it is played out not only has highs and lows. For those of us that follow the Almighty, we don't understand often times what is being asked of us or why this has happened. Perhaps this is simply the attempt of a loving Father, to be closer to His son without the interruptions of life/ministry? Perhaps this is the next chapter and the journey simply lies before me to walk. Perhaps this is all in my head and I should move along...

Thoughts on Point:
I do miss Stevens Point. As people have asked what is left in Point, my response is simply "Good Friends and Good Memories." Ten and a half years is a long time to be in one place (albeit in two episodes of 5 years). Especially for someone like myself who tends to be mobile. *Back on track* I miss being able to pour life into students at Chi Alpha, esp. Considering the steps the group took at SALT. *Don't know why the rest of my post was dropped.

More to come... LARS

Birthday Reflections

It is not everyday that is identified as 'yours.' But that is what birthday's are (at least here in the US). I realize that birthday's really are less about you. It is more about the people around you (family and friends) to celebrate your life and their love for you. I was blessed today with both friends and family going above the call to show their love for me. Whether a silly E-card, a "happy B-day" on AIM, sharing a meal, or filling my house with balloons.

My folks told me today that your 30's are the best years of your life. You can take the experience and formation of your teens and twenties and live the life you were created to live. I don't think I could put it better myself. That's what tomorrow is all about. Living the life I was CREATED to live.

Many thanks to everyone and their efforts today. It has been a fine day.